Llama, Llama and the Bully Goat
One of my daughter's favorite books to read before bed for a LONG time was "Llama Llama and the Bully Goat." It is a pretty simplified version of the school yard bully and a child that is just plain unpleasant. We read the book often enough that when got to the part about what this child was, Lucy would shout out, "HE'S A BULLY GOAT!" at the top of her lungs. It made me laugh, but even a child can identify when someone is intentionally being mean or just unpleasant.
We hear a lot about bullying in our current society. It evokes the picture of a school yard bully pushing another child into a locker or challenging them to a fight. Television and movies often put some type of comical spin on the situation so that it seems less offensive. The underdog ultimately figures out the weakness of the bully or discovers their own inner strength to stand up to the bully.
There is a third kind of bullying, though, that is far more subtle and often known by another name - manipulation. Manipulation in this context is generally a word used with negative connotations, after all it is defined as controlling or influencing cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously. Basically, a subtle but skilled use of words or actions to get someone else to say or do what would benefit you most.
Most Christians would not consider themselves to be manipulators. But there are several ways that we manipulate (or bully) perhaps without knowing it. Outside of quoting Scripture directly, I have known several people who often started a persuasive speech with "God told me" or "the Holy Spirit showed me." The Holy Spirit does speak, but the words that follow will be the indicator of whether or not the Spirit is truly at work in the situation. After all, it is hard to argue with someone who said "God told me"!
Another example of Christian manipulation is the twisting of Scripture to fit our situation or our side of an argument. 2 Peter 3:16 says,
I attended a service once that made me wildly uncomfortable. It was in a church that was quite a bit more charismatic than what I was comfortable with, but that was not what made me want to turn tail and run. It was the preacher nearly shouting that "If you give your money to the church right now, you will receive HOUSES, CARS, INHERITANCES, HEALING..." It made my stomach churn to think a so-called man of God would be instructing people to essentially "buy" the blessings of God. Blessings that are not promised in the Word of God.
He will provide for all of our needs and often many of our wants, but we cannot buy salvation or blessing. This form of manipulation is often as simple as acting more religious than someone else with the desire to make them feel inferior spiritually. They may then question themselves and seek your truth rather than searching out God's truth in a situation.
We hear a lot about bullying in our current society. It evokes the picture of a school yard bully pushing another child into a locker or challenging them to a fight. Television and movies often put some type of comical spin on the situation so that it seems less offensive. The underdog ultimately figures out the weakness of the bully or discovers their own inner strength to stand up to the bully.
However, the reality of bullying is that it happens more often with severe and even deadly consequences than any of us really would like to admit. While there are still school yard bullies and face to face confrontations between children, there is also veiled bullying that has been made possible with the rampant us of social media among teenagers especially. There is a certain anonymity allowed by being just a name on a screen. People begin to feel an untamed sense of freedom and abandon and even a sense of "no consequences" when they are online. They begin to think, and in turn say, things that they would probably never muster the audacity to say out loud.
There is a third kind of bullying, though, that is far more subtle and often known by another name - manipulation. Manipulation in this context is generally a word used with negative connotations, after all it is defined as controlling or influencing cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously. Basically, a subtle but skilled use of words or actions to get someone else to say or do what would benefit you most.
Most Christians would not consider themselves to be manipulators. But there are several ways that we manipulate (or bully) perhaps without knowing it. Outside of quoting Scripture directly, I have known several people who often started a persuasive speech with "God told me" or "the Holy Spirit showed me." The Holy Spirit does speak, but the words that follow will be the indicator of whether or not the Spirit is truly at work in the situation. After all, it is hard to argue with someone who said "God told me"!
Another example of Christian manipulation is the twisting of Scripture to fit our situation or our side of an argument. 2 Peter 3:16 says,
"As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction."This can be done innocently out of ignorance, but often is done out of laziness and a lack of true understanding of a portion of Scripture. We must guard against the desire to use Scripture for our own sake and not the sake of the truth. The Bible gives a pretty stern admonition against this that it will ultimately lead to our destruction. It brings to mind many of the prosperity gospel preachers that have twisted Scriptures about receiving blessings to mean that if you believe in God, or give the church money even, that you will be flooded with earthly riches.
I attended a service once that made me wildly uncomfortable. It was in a church that was quite a bit more charismatic than what I was comfortable with, but that was not what made me want to turn tail and run. It was the preacher nearly shouting that "If you give your money to the church right now, you will receive HOUSES, CARS, INHERITANCES, HEALING..." It made my stomach churn to think a so-called man of God would be instructing people to essentially "buy" the blessings of God. Blessings that are not promised in the Word of God.
He will provide for all of our needs and often many of our wants, but we cannot buy salvation or blessing. This form of manipulation is often as simple as acting more religious than someone else with the desire to make them feel inferior spiritually. They may then question themselves and seek your truth rather than searching out God's truth in a situation.
I have been convicted lately about making myself more appealing for the sake of the Gospel. It has nothing to do with my physical appearance, except perhaps the countenance of joy and peace on my face - or the lack thereof. What are my first instincts in the realm of reacting to someone else's sin? How do I respond when someone that I dislike has a "fall from glory"? Where do my thoughts go, when I have been offended or hurt - even if unintentionally?
The act of making ourselves more appealing for the sake of the Gospel, I believe, starts with the heart, then in turn the mind, followed by our words, and ultimately our actions. The Lord is at work in my heart and my mind, and I pray the same for whoever reads this. If the Lord is convicting you in a certain area - listen, make the change, seek the truth out, and allow His peace and love to the ruling force in your life. Not a desire to be in control of others!
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