I am a mom.
Writing is quite often a kind of therapy for me. In the evenings or during one of Lucy's morning naps, I often sit down with my Bible and my computer to process what I have been thinking or feeling. Tonight was such a night. Thankfully, Lucy went to bed quietly and without fuss, and I have been afforded an hour or so before I turn into a pumpkin with which to share my heart.
As a stay-at-home mom, I am acutely aware of how much time I spend at home...with a baby. When my husband comes home, I am usually desperate for adult interaction, and he is usually desperate for some peace and quiet. As you can probably tell, this occasionally (daily) results in me feeling sorry for myself because I don't get the attention that I deserve! I took a little drive with Lucy today to run a few errands and tuned into WCRF in the car. I enjoy hearing their programs during the day and would much rather listen to a good sermon than most of the trash that is on the other stations.
I have no idea who was talking and I didn't agree with everything he said, but he did make one very thought provoking point: Americans are desperate to be a victim. The host of the program asked him what he meant by that, and he began to elaborate and say that in order to get attention and power in the media, at work, in the home, Americans very earnestly try to find a way to make themselves a victim. Innocent, abused, hurt, objectified, etc. I sort of zoned out for the rest of the program, but my mind began to sift through that thought.
Do I make myself a victim...(gulp)...in order to get attention? And quite frankly, the answer is YES. It sometimes make me sick to my stomach to realize how deeply selfish and self-serving I am. I wish I could say that I always put my husband and my daughter's needs ahead of my own, but that is just not the case. As I was skulking about this and feeling like a victim of being a victim, my husband asked me what was wrong. I shared with him how I often feel like I have no purpose at home. When I was working full time, I always felt like I was needed. He chuckled a little to himself and reminded me a of two very important things:
1) My new "purpose" is to be Lucy's mom. Until she starts school, I will have the greatest impact and influence on her life above and beyond anyone else. I will have the greatest ability to mold her mind, heart, and character. She will ultimately begin to model what she sees displayed in my life toward her and others around me. (gulp) That is some heavy stuff. I am heavily responsible for the foundation of her character that will shape the rest of her life!
2) As if that wasn't heavy enough...I am still a work in progress! I have not reached completion yet. The Lord is still molding and shaping my life! Wow. I guess I am a victim of being incomplete, too!
The Lord has perhaps the greatest purpose for you, sweet mamas! You are shaping the hearts, mind, and character of your children! Not singlehandedly, but certainly in great proportion! When you feel tired and want to give up, remember this admonition:
As a stay-at-home mom, I am acutely aware of how much time I spend at home...with a baby. When my husband comes home, I am usually desperate for adult interaction, and he is usually desperate for some peace and quiet. As you can probably tell, this occasionally (daily) results in me feeling sorry for myself because I don't get the attention that I deserve! I took a little drive with Lucy today to run a few errands and tuned into WCRF in the car. I enjoy hearing their programs during the day and would much rather listen to a good sermon than most of the trash that is on the other stations.
I have no idea who was talking and I didn't agree with everything he said, but he did make one very thought provoking point: Americans are desperate to be a victim. The host of the program asked him what he meant by that, and he began to elaborate and say that in order to get attention and power in the media, at work, in the home, Americans very earnestly try to find a way to make themselves a victim. Innocent, abused, hurt, objectified, etc. I sort of zoned out for the rest of the program, but my mind began to sift through that thought.
Do I make myself a victim...(gulp)...in order to get attention? And quite frankly, the answer is YES. It sometimes make me sick to my stomach to realize how deeply selfish and self-serving I am. I wish I could say that I always put my husband and my daughter's needs ahead of my own, but that is just not the case. As I was skulking about this and feeling like a victim of being a victim, my husband asked me what was wrong. I shared with him how I often feel like I have no purpose at home. When I was working full time, I always felt like I was needed. He chuckled a little to himself and reminded me a of two very important things:
1) My new "purpose" is to be Lucy's mom. Until she starts school, I will have the greatest impact and influence on her life above and beyond anyone else. I will have the greatest ability to mold her mind, heart, and character. She will ultimately begin to model what she sees displayed in my life toward her and others around me. (gulp) That is some heavy stuff. I am heavily responsible for the foundation of her character that will shape the rest of her life!
2) As if that wasn't heavy enough...I am still a work in progress! I have not reached completion yet. The Lord is still molding and shaping my life! Wow. I guess I am a victim of being incomplete, too!
I doubt that I am the only one who feels this "lack of purpose" being a stay-at-home mom, listening to gibberish and screaming, changing poopy diapers and wiping up puke, cleaning dirty little fingerprints and "goo" off of everything, and feeling like you just might be losing your mind."Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:4-8
The Lord has perhaps the greatest purpose for you, sweet mamas! You are shaping the hearts, mind, and character of your children! Not singlehandedly, but certainly in great proportion! When you feel tired and want to give up, remember this admonition:
"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." Colossians 3:23-24You are the hands of the Lord to your children. You will have the greatest impact on them. You will most likely minister to them more than anyone else. Why not do it with all your heart? Don't begrudge their curiosity and ignorance. Mold them, shape them...love them. I suppose I am speaking to myself as much as anyone else. A little pep talk to me, myself, and I - that I have a purpose. A wonderful, glorious, God-given purpose. To be a mom.
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